Happy Birthday To Me...

"Today is my birthday and I get one every year,.."

Does this sound desperate? well, maybe.

I feel happy today, because God has grant me a wonderful kind of life and one more chance to survive in this whole wide world. Alone,.. but it's OK. I used to think that I really should spend my birthday with the ones I love, to share my happiness with them... but I don't have the chance this year. I am somewhere,.. far away from my hubby and my baby. I used to think that this is unfair, but what can I do? I"M THE ONE WHO CHOSE TO BE LIKE THIS. No one to blame but myself. I'm sad at the same time, torn apart and felt so lonely,.. but I know that anything that doesn't kill me makes me stronger. I must be strong to continue this journey,.. the long journey of my life and my family. I pray to God to stay strong, keep pushing on and keep me insane. I'm gonna get through this. If everyone else can, so why can't I? I really should widen my perspective, nothing so bad that I should cry or die. I have a bunch of happiness for me, my Hubby and My Baby. Life is too short to be wasted and I just don't want to be wasted. So help me God.

"Spinnining... spinning before I can recall, all the unknown chemicals control the cycle. The succesive geberation, from dust to dust. burrying my grandpa and gave birth to my own son..."